"A Great Relationship Happens When Two People Who Truly Understand Each Other and Love Each Other for Who They Are Come Together and Create Something Stronger Than Either of Them Could Ever Be on Their Own" - Anonymous.
Everyone desires a great relationship and in one way or the other they work towards having one. This is weather we are in one relationship or we are anticipating a relationship in the nearest future. The Relationship being spoken of here describes a love relationship between a man and woman with marraige in veiw (which I must say is not so common these days). I will like to say that I am a strong supporter of the school of thought that marraige should be an end in veiw in starting any reasonable relationship which must be prosecuted by mature minds. With this as a background, I will like to present three notable variables needed to have and sustain a great relationship. They are Faith, Patience and, Love.
Faith is a strong persuasion in God and in His ability and counsel. There must be faith in God in submission to His person and rulership over the participants. This gives a basis of guidance and cautioning through any issues in the relationship. Also on faith must be a persuasion in God's opinion and consent of the relationship. Participants must be able to declare confidently that they are persuaded God wanted them to be in the relationship (that is conviction). This happens through having fellowship with God. I do not particularly speak of an extreme or peculiar case where people say they heard or are waiting for a deep voice (which is possible and happens) but because the Christian has a relationship with God then there must be a way communication is done with God which he(the believer) is aware of. Such that s/he is persuaded by God to get into the relationship. The implication is that when issues or challenges arise there is a substance of what is hoped for and an evidence not seen that keeps you going with an assurance that it is by God.
Patience is used as long suffering in some versions of the bible. This is the ability to wait a little longer without giving up on someone, an issue or on God concerning a matter. That is being able to persevere. This must begin with being able to be patient with God concerning various sitiuations and trainings He will be taken you and your partner through. Being able to stay put with God will help any individual build strenght and matirity for any life's situation that confronts him/her. Then the need for patience for one another concerning every issue, fictions or challenges. Being patient gives time to hear one another out and make a head way, it gives chance to believe in each other and see progress in one another's lives. Patience will save a lot of anger, wrath and quarels. It will save a lot of heartbreaks and emotional hurts and health problems. Patience should be considered as first option before reacting to any action. Take a little time to hear him or her out why s/he acted or reacted the way s/he did before you react. Be patient believing that your partner will get beter at that situation you always correct her/him on. Patience saves us from so much unwarranted dangers and misunderstanding.
Love is to prefer others above self. A pastor friend describes love as being able to die for the other. Different places in scripture speaks of love being epitomed in what Jesus did on the cross for humanity. 1John4v10 clearly describes it as " herein is love,..that He loved us and gave Himself for us". He placed himself in arms way for our good because He loves us. Love is giving up your pride, ego, comfort, security, preferences etc for the good of the other. With loads of this in the relationship, so many things will be taken care of. If it is understood and coming from both ends, the common ground would be discovered. Note that, Love is not about a ratio of 50:50 contribution or sacrifice, it is about giving up willing from the heart to see the other person get better even if it puts you in harm's way which may be a a ratio 90:10 contribution or sacrifice. Love never fails and it will surely make any relationship great. It is a significant consideration for a triumphant relationship between two people. The balance in the commitment will be defined as both parties come with the same mind and together they can identify who needs to benefit more at a particular decision time.
I feel people may want to ask where is money, sex, material needs, pride, family, beauty, communication etc appear on my already exhausted list. Well, every other thing will be taken care of in Faith, Patience and Love. Non of the above mentioned should be treated with levity but with sincerity in God every one of them would be dealth with in the three vital points mentioned. Some of these will be discussed in one of our future editions.
Your relationship can be a great one and it will be dependent on how you want it to be.
Do have a great time commiting to that relationship and be aware that it will require a conscious effort and commitment from both parties. You are bound to achieve much more than you can achieve alone when you both commit to work hard together in one accord in your relationship. Make God the foundation it is founded upon, be patient in building together and establish every decision on love then a great relationship with multiple fruits awaits you.
Already published in Living Letters, June, 2012 edition
Friday 20 July 2012
Wednesday 18 July 2012
total living with Ayo Adeoye: OAU Sports Complex
total living with Ayo Adeoye: OAU Sports Complex: It is such a beautiful sporting complex with different facilities as a football pitch (the best natural pitch in the zone), lawn tennis cour...
OAU Sports Complex
It is such a beautiful sporting complex with different facilities as a football pitch (the best natural pitch in the zone), lawn tennis courts (clay and tarred), gym, indoor sports hall – handball, basketball, badminton etc, tracks, hockey pitch etc.
You may wonder if all these were/are present in the Obafemi Awolowo University sports complex. Yes! They are present, in fact I did not mention the table tennis hall, the squash hall etc.
Common to majority of these facilities is one use which the beneficiaries should be grateful for in a long time. Personally, I am very grateful and cannot forget in a hurry or a lifetime how much benefits these facilities have been to me and many friends – brothers and sisters.
With millions (maybe billions) of steps that have been taken I would be accountable for some thousands of it, I presume and owing to not just playing football on the pitch but to engaging in some spiritual activities – Prayers (all sorts)
“Sports” as it is/was called is the best facility that O.A.U. could have given any generation. Loads of lives were formed, built-up, transformed on some of those grounds, destinies, purpose and dreams were discovered. Directions and decisions have been made on these facilities (and are still being maximised). These grounds were points of miracles and supernatural happenings in the lives of people within and without the campus environment (no matter how far).
I remember some cold nights alone (never alone cos someone was also praying) and hot afternoons even the early mornings too. They are all filled with different memories of prayer styles, postures and expressions. I remember speaking to a lady at the covered pavilion and she burst out in tears and I realized she got better and better with God from then on. I remember spending time in prayers for my elder brother and he is a transformed man today. I remember teaching/leading people to pray and life has been good with them.
What more can I say but to thank God for the beautiful moment and experiences he had with me at the OAU sports complex. I think everyone who has ever been through the complex at anytime has a memory to preserve and still long for same (some more). Lots of times I have wished for place like the sports complex in the cities I have been to in Nigeria. Every opportunity I have to spend when I visit the great Ife (OAU), I long for some moment at the complex – alone with God.
Oh, lest I forget, it was fun playing football on the pitch too.
You may wonder if all these were/are present in the Obafemi Awolowo University sports complex. Yes! They are present, in fact I did not mention the table tennis hall, the squash hall etc.
Common to majority of these facilities is one use which the beneficiaries should be grateful for in a long time. Personally, I am very grateful and cannot forget in a hurry or a lifetime how much benefits these facilities have been to me and many friends – brothers and sisters.
With millions (maybe billions) of steps that have been taken I would be accountable for some thousands of it, I presume and owing to not just playing football on the pitch but to engaging in some spiritual activities – Prayers (all sorts)
“Sports” as it is/was called is the best facility that O.A.U. could have given any generation. Loads of lives were formed, built-up, transformed on some of those grounds, destinies, purpose and dreams were discovered. Directions and decisions have been made on these facilities (and are still being maximised). These grounds were points of miracles and supernatural happenings in the lives of people within and without the campus environment (no matter how far).
I remember some cold nights alone (never alone cos someone was also praying) and hot afternoons even the early mornings too. They are all filled with different memories of prayer styles, postures and expressions. I remember speaking to a lady at the covered pavilion and she burst out in tears and I realized she got better and better with God from then on. I remember spending time in prayers for my elder brother and he is a transformed man today. I remember teaching/leading people to pray and life has been good with them.
What more can I say but to thank God for the beautiful moment and experiences he had with me at the OAU sports complex. I think everyone who has ever been through the complex at anytime has a memory to preserve and still long for same (some more). Lots of times I have wished for place like the sports complex in the cities I have been to in Nigeria. Every opportunity I have to spend when I visit the great Ife (OAU), I long for some moment at the complex – alone with God.
Oh, lest I forget, it was fun playing football on the pitch too.
Friday 6 July 2012
A walk to remember
I watched a little kid grab the hand of an adult as they both approached the major road but the unfortunate part of it is that there is no overhead bridge within reach. The road is an eight track road i.e. four lanes each sides with a centre curb.
There was a peaceful countenance on the kid’s face as they began to cross the road. He was not too fast or too slow. As they got to the middle curb and the adult carefully observed the road before they both make their next move, some trucks ran across which was followed by a fierce breeze with some sand and dust. This brought fear to the mind of the child and he actually made a move to go back where they were coming from which could have been disastrous if he did (thanks to the strong grip the adult had).
They soon made their next walk together across the remaining half of the road which was successful as the adult led the way and the kid followed step after step. The amazing part of the road crossing was at the end of it. As soon as they got to the other side of the road, the little chap snatched his hands off barely say thank you and ran off to do his own thing. After all, danger has been averted and the work of the adult friend is over.
This is how most of us relate with God, we grab hold of him only when we feel we are in dire need or danger and hope to have him come to the rescue and once it is over we shrug him off and go on to do our own thing leaving him out of it. Sometimes in the heat of our fears we even want to leave him and run back to where we feel is safe which is usually to our detriment.
God wants you to grab hold of his hand while you walk with him. He is ready to walk the journey of life with you and through every situation – good or bad, big or small. He wants to lead you through every step of the way, while you follow his every move.
A walk with God is always one to remember and it will bring comfort to our hearts no matter what the situation is. If you can learn to walk with him when you feel you can do it alone then you will be able walk with him in difficult times. Then you can say – “even though I walk through the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, because you are with me.”
Jesus Christ described this walk in Matt11v29-30 as a yoke and he affirmed that his yoke is easy and that the burden is light. The best to be done is to submit to this walk and be guided through a peaceful walk in life.
Walking with God is quite interesting. It starts with accepting Jesus offer to be sacrificed for you. It establishes a relationship with God then you build on it by praying always, studying your bible, meditating on God’s word and living out these realities in scriptures.
Make every step of your walk through life one to remember, because you choose to walk with God.
There was a peaceful countenance on the kid’s face as they began to cross the road. He was not too fast or too slow. As they got to the middle curb and the adult carefully observed the road before they both make their next move, some trucks ran across which was followed by a fierce breeze with some sand and dust. This brought fear to the mind of the child and he actually made a move to go back where they were coming from which could have been disastrous if he did (thanks to the strong grip the adult had).
They soon made their next walk together across the remaining half of the road which was successful as the adult led the way and the kid followed step after step. The amazing part of the road crossing was at the end of it. As soon as they got to the other side of the road, the little chap snatched his hands off barely say thank you and ran off to do his own thing. After all, danger has been averted and the work of the adult friend is over.
This is how most of us relate with God, we grab hold of him only when we feel we are in dire need or danger and hope to have him come to the rescue and once it is over we shrug him off and go on to do our own thing leaving him out of it. Sometimes in the heat of our fears we even want to leave him and run back to where we feel is safe which is usually to our detriment.
God wants you to grab hold of his hand while you walk with him. He is ready to walk the journey of life with you and through every situation – good or bad, big or small. He wants to lead you through every step of the way, while you follow his every move.
A walk with God is always one to remember and it will bring comfort to our hearts no matter what the situation is. If you can learn to walk with him when you feel you can do it alone then you will be able walk with him in difficult times. Then you can say – “even though I walk through the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, because you are with me.”
Jesus Christ described this walk in Matt11v29-30 as a yoke and he affirmed that his yoke is easy and that the burden is light. The best to be done is to submit to this walk and be guided through a peaceful walk in life.
Walking with God is quite interesting. It starts with accepting Jesus offer to be sacrificed for you. It establishes a relationship with God then you build on it by praying always, studying your bible, meditating on God’s word and living out these realities in scriptures.
Make every step of your walk through life one to remember, because you choose to walk with God.
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