LOVE: feeling/responsibility
We all feel loved or have feelings of love towards someone or the other at different times and in different ways that I would expect that at some point we consider another perspective to which is responsibility.
When we love someone and vice-versa, often times we are inclined to commit to many things for that person especially in the male and female relationship. When love is hot, you can almost touch it physically like holding a cold iron/aluminium on your cheeks which gives you this cool “enjoying it” feeling. You tend to do lots of stuff like spend lots of time with the person, cook for the person, spend money, give gifts, share your things (sometimes personal things) and even want to share your body (sex) with the person etc. It implies that you are willing to give your materials, cash and body to the person even when you are not married! It’s like it just comes natural for you to do these things because you feel loved or you feel “loving”.
On the contrary, there comes a time when it’s not all rosy – you just don’t feel anything. The feelings of love are gone due to pressures, problems, differences, discoveries etc. You wonder - where did all the love go to? The person’s presence brings a pale atmosphere to you. I think we should ask the “old war horses” and they would confirm this to us.
The same way that cold iron/aluminium feels cool to our cheek and after a while when the body system adjust to it temperature, the “enjoying it” feeling fades out and you feel as a fool wondering why and how you are putting a piece of cool iron to your cheek – “romancing it”. That’s how it feels with love when a vital part of it is missing / not in the awareness of the parties involved. This missing part is responsibility.
Often times we want that feeling to be loved and it is what is usually portrayed as love (in movies, songs, themes, books etc). Responsibility to love is what sustains any love relationship. When the chips are down, it is responsibility to the relationship that gets you going till the feelings get back refreshed. It is an understanding of responsibility that keeps a mother breast feeding her baby when she feels pain in her breast and do not feel like breast feeding. It is responsibility that makes a parent keep paying for the school fees of a naughty chap who keeps getting into trouble and failing in school even when the parent is honestly tired of his troubles. Responsibility will keep a guy from hitting a lady irrespective of the fault the lady has and he will learn to love, protect and cherish her always. It will also cause a wife to learn submission irrespective of her background, status or situations and not disrespect her husband. Responsibility will keep a guy from having sex with a gal (lady) he is not married to no matter what the situation is – love is worth the wait. It is responsibility that led and kept Jesus on the cross for you and I though He acknowledged the difficulty. Responsibilities help us consider consequences of our actions before we do them.
Responsibility must be brought into perspective when you choose to love someone (in anyway...). You should find out and understand what your roles / responsibilities are in it and play it even when you do not feel like it. It is why Michael told Caleb in “Fire Proof” (a must watch movie for everyone) that “you don’t just follow your heart because your heart can be deceived; you got to lead your heart”.
The best way I know which Michael also acknowledged on how to lead your heart is to ask God to teach you to do that. It begins with prayers, study of the bible, meditation on scriptures and living out God’s word.
Love is beautiful and given to enjoy from the source of it – God. The best way to enjoy love is to have a good mix of the feelings and the responsibilities. Enjoy loving and being loved!
